I caught the recent found footage horror film THE GALLOWS at
the second run theater last month and was mildly surprised to enjoy it. For a
lot of people the found footage sub-genre has long since lost its fascination
(if it ever had any) and I can understand the knee-jerk dislike. As a conceit
the idea has lost its ability to bring fresh scares to me simply by playing up
the first person nature of the events being shown. So, much like any other
story, these movies need to actually bring something clever to the table to
rise from the level of disposable and forgettable. For me this film was
hovering on the line between 'OK' and 'Not Worth It' until the final ten
minutes when the denouncement proved the filmmakers had thought their creepy
little premise through to completion. I almost stood and slow clapped in the
theater as the credits played. THE GALLOWS is not a great horror movie but it
is short, it smartly plays with its scenario and finishes with a flourish.
Nice.
When it comes to horror films I am a masochist. Even when
I'm fairly sure that the pedigree of a particular horror effort condemns it to
be crap, I will - if given the chance - check it out. I love the genre too much
to pass up the opportunity to be surprised by an unexpected gem hiding behind a
name I've learned to distrust. So, even though Eli Roth has never made a film
I've enjoyed I ventured out to see THE GREEN INFERNO and once again Mr. Roth
proves that no amount of rubbing up against Tarantino can give him the ability
to write believable dialog. That is always the first thing I notice about an
Eli Roth film - the dialog is hideous! Roughly ten percent of what come out of
character's mouths in this or any other of his sad efforts feels like something
that a human being might actually say to another human being. If an alien came
to Earth and tried to infiltrate society by blending into the film industry I
suspect that alien MIGHT write dialog as pathetically stilted as the crap these
actors have to speak. The full flow of faux-cool hipster-bro babble is almost
mesmerizing as it oozes from the screen putting me in mind of a purposefully
off-kilter performance added to a film to warn the audience that its all a
dream. But no. We're supposed to believe that these are real people speaking
these hacky lines as they attempt to live their oh so complicated lives. I
rolled my eyes so often in the first half hour of this film I started to get
eyestrain.
The general 2015 public might see this movie as a boundary
pushing cannibal film filled with high level gore and violence but as a long
time fan of the movies that Roth is aping here I just see a frat boy making bad
jokes and having a good laugh with his buddies about his panty-sniffing cleverness.
This is a movie made by a preening hack pleased with himself for being 'edgy'
and funny when his biggest addition to the genre is an idiotic post credit
moment fashioned to set up a sequel. THE GREEN INFERNO would be unintentionally
funny if it wasn't so pointless and mean-spirited but Roth doesn't even understand
the ideas he is fumbling around with here. He wedges in fart and shit jokes, a
masturbation scene and in one of the dumbest sequences in cinema pot smoke
history posits that a bag of cannabis smaller than my hand could make an entire
tribe of forty to fifty natives so high as to become insensible. Of course, the
entire pot smoke scene is there so that a 'They've got the munchies' joke can
be made about the hungry cannibals afterward. My god, this is crap.
I will continue to see horror films by people in whom I have
little trust but it is efforts like this that make it difficult. I don't mind
gore, violence and all manner of unpleasant things done in service of a good
scary movie but Eli Roth is just a terrible filmmaker with no idea of how
poorly he understands the genre he purports to love. He is a terrible storyteller
and that is the thing a director has to be above all.
The List
ENDER'S GAME (2013)- 5 (incredibly 'meh')
FREEBIE
AND THE BEAN (1974)- 6 (far too over-the-top on all fronts but the actors make
it entertaining)
CURSE
OF THE UNDEAD (1959)- 6 (rewatch) (vampire western)
THE
SWARM (1978)- 3 (Wow! Epic badness!)
LAST
OF THE RENEGADES (1964) - 7 (the second Winnetou westerns)
HOUSE
OF THE LIVING DEAD (1974) - 5 (odd gothic with too little story)
THE
THING THAT COULDN'T DIE (1958)- 4 (rewatch)
THE
BOOK OF LIFE (2014)- 9 (wonderful animated film)
THE
GALLOWS (2015)- 6 (pretty good found footage horror)
KONGO
(1932)- 7 (excellent pre-code drama)
THE
GLORY STOMPERS (1967)- 7 (well done biker flick)
BUCK
AND THE PREACHER (1972) - 7 (good black-cast western)
GODZILLA: FINAL WARS (2004) -7 (rewatch)
THE
BROOD (1979)- 8 (rewatch)
FRIGHT
NIGHT PART 2 (1988)- 7 (rewatch)
8
MILLION WAYS TO DIE (1986) - 5 (rewatch) (Lawrence Block adaptation that is too
flatly shot and indulgent of its actors)
THE
MUMMY'S SHROUD (1967) - 7 (rewatch)
24
HOURS TO KILL (1965)- 6 (interesting Beirut-
DIARY
OF A MADMAN (1963)- 6 (rewatch)
TRIPLE
CROSS (1966)- 7 (British WWII spy tale based on fact)
THE
GREEN INFERNO (2015) - 3
RETURN
TO SALEM 'S LOT
(1987)- 3
NIGHTFALL
(1957) - 8 (excellent film noir)
THE
BABADOOK (2013)- 8
3 comments:
I hate Eli Roth to. His worst attribute is his writing. What QT sees in him I'll never know. Horror Rises from the Tomb is a vast improvement over The Thing That Couldn't Die. What are other movies that have good ideas, but failed to deliver would you like to see remade? I will throw out Time Walker, Plan 9, Bride of the Monster and The Alpha Incident
Ironic how THE GREEN INFERNO got a year long delay,only to be barely promoted by both Blumhouse Productions and Universal,as well as Eli Roth's new Keanu Reeves starring thriller KNOCK KNOCK getting dumped onto both VOD and limited theatrical release(in both L.A. and New York),considering that Reeves' previous film JOHN WICK was a monstrous box office success: could both of Eli Roth's new films be that extremely terrible(to be given these warranted fates) ?
Steven - I think the perception of Roth's films is that they have a limited audience so throwing more money into theatrical promotion is a good way to cut into the slim profit potential. That they always suck just adds to that perception, I think.
Nick - Roth is one of the worst writers in Hollywood and when you consider how many people have been involved in the works of Michael Bay that is a large pool of hacks. I'm sure QT loves having a rich yes man around just as much as anyone else would. And I never thought about how close the plotlines of The Thing That Wouldn't Die and Horror Rises From the Tomb really are. Insane! Of course, Naschy's film is better if for no other reason - Helga Line!
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