A group of archaeologists on a mysterious planet are
investigating some kind of ancient ruins. They discover a secret underground
chamber in which one of the crew is attacked by a strange but barely seen
creature. This fellow later runs amok leaving the safety of the group’s
cave-built compound until he’s finally subdued violently. Crystal rock samples
taken from the secret chamber puzzle the group’s chemist so the next day he and
Sandy (Judy Geeson) go outside to retrieve some more rock samples. As they are
leaving the dig Mitch the chemist is ripped apart by the mysterious creature
and Sandy Sandy
Slightly daft, sloppily written and (for the most part) acted as if the
paychecks were late INSEMINOID a.k.a HORROR PLANET (1981) is one of the worst
pieces of science fiction/horror trash I’ve ever seen. Less a story than an
idea thrown up onto the screen it at least has the virtue of aiming low. Very
low. A small budget rip off of ALIEN the film takes the sub-textual concept of
horrid creatures raping humans to implant their seed and places it front and
center. In a better film this nastiness would be a plus but here it just barley
keeps things moving along. Luckily ample amounts of bloody violence is
scattered around to keep things interesting.
I’m sure there was a script (i.e. pieces of paper with dialog and scene direction typed on them) but they might have made the same film if the cast & crew merely huddled each day and said “What sequence can we cobble together today?” The characters are cardboard cut-outs, the dialog is banal when its not being idiotic and the sets are dull. Some of my favorite moments are when a line of dialog comes out of nowhere to make some point that feels plot related. This is a hallmark of bad scripts and in science fiction these bits of technobabble usually stand out beautifully. So when Mitch the chemist proclaims that the strange crystals ‘seem to have some kind of chemical intelligence’ you’re stunned by the non-sequitur craziness, but you just know that it provides a clue to defeating the nasty evil thing that shows up later. Except in this damned film you’d be wrong to think that! This silly-ass line has nothing to do with anything that happens later! Nothing! I’m not sure if this is genius slight-of-hand writing or plain ineptitude.
The cast is a mixed bag of slumming pros (most of the women) and folks that really needed some acting lessons (pretty much all the men). It’s fun in a sick way to watch some good actors flail away with this material. Geeson does as good a job as could honestly be expected I think. She musters up some believable homicidal rage when dispatching the rest of the cast and her banshee screams during the birthing scene are unnerving. As a plus you get to see the lovely Victoria Tennant stabbed to death with scissors- surely a first in cinema.
Now, to step back for a moment I must give the movie some praise. The film is well shot with the opening scenes colorfully showing the alien planet’s landscape. This generates some nice, creepy atmosphere that the rest of the movie’s claustrophobic cave sets slowly dissipate. The direction, while never outstanding is capable, moving the story along at a nice clip and hiding some of the sloppier moments. Before the film sinks to its eventual sad level I felt a measure of hope in the bustling activity of the little group of archaeologists. But when the killing started the terribly choreographed fight sequences finished off my willing suspension of disbelief. I do give the film points for the overly gory murders but the effects are hit or miss with at least one death scene descending into unintended humor.
I’m sure there was a script (i.e. pieces of paper with dialog and scene direction typed on them) but they might have made the same film if the cast & crew merely huddled each day and said “What sequence can we cobble together today?” The characters are cardboard cut-outs, the dialog is banal when its not being idiotic and the sets are dull. Some of my favorite moments are when a line of dialog comes out of nowhere to make some point that feels plot related. This is a hallmark of bad scripts and in science fiction these bits of technobabble usually stand out beautifully. So when Mitch the chemist proclaims that the strange crystals ‘seem to have some kind of chemical intelligence’ you’re stunned by the non-sequitur craziness, but you just know that it provides a clue to defeating the nasty evil thing that shows up later. Except in this damned film you’d be wrong to think that! This silly-ass line has nothing to do with anything that happens later! Nothing! I’m not sure if this is genius slight-of-hand writing or plain ineptitude.
The cast is a mixed bag of slumming pros (most of the women) and folks that really needed some acting lessons (pretty much all the men). It’s fun in a sick way to watch some good actors flail away with this material. Geeson does as good a job as could honestly be expected I think. She musters up some believable homicidal rage when dispatching the rest of the cast and her banshee screams during the birthing scene are unnerving. As a plus you get to see the lovely Victoria Tennant stabbed to death with scissors- surely a first in cinema.
Now, to step back for a moment I must give the movie some praise. The film is well shot with the opening scenes colorfully showing the alien planet’s landscape. This generates some nice, creepy atmosphere that the rest of the movie’s claustrophobic cave sets slowly dissipate. The direction, while never outstanding is capable, moving the story along at a nice clip and hiding some of the sloppier moments. Before the film sinks to its eventual sad level I felt a measure of hope in the bustling activity of the little group of archaeologists. But when the killing started the terribly choreographed fight sequences finished off my willing suspension of disbelief. I do give the film points for the overly gory murders but the effects are hit or miss with at least one death scene descending into unintended humor.
Very soon a British company will be releasing a Blu-Ray of this film along with a few of Norman J. Warren's other horror films. I can't wait to see this HD presentation and to wallow in the extras with which the set is sure to be packed. I'm not sure I'll ever love this insane effort but mt desire to see it again is almost overwhelming.
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