Dario Argento's JENIFER

I’ve been an aficionado of horror films for about 25 years so while I’m not a jaded viewer by any means I have seen quite a bit of cinema that pushes the outer boundaries. These days it’s a rare thing for a film to cause me to squirm so much that I find I must look away. The Dario Argento directed Master’s of Horror episode JENIFER managed to make me hit the stop button and take a break before finishing. Strangely it was not a horrific image of violence or a bloody act that made me so uncomfortable. It was that bugaboo of our Puritan background- sex. Or more accurately- my view of sex and relationships between men and women.

The story centers on a plain-clothes police detective named Frank Spivey (Steven Weber). He sees a homeless man about to kill a young woman with a meat clever and is forced to kill him to save the victim. This girl, called Jenifer because of a note found on the dead man, turns out to be a mystery. She has an incredibly beautiful body but a hideously malformed face with large black eyes. No background information about her is ever divulged so she remains a blank slate. She cannot speak, able only to communicate with whines or moans seeming like an animal that has been mistreated and therefore shrinks from contact. The cop is haunted by the girl and when his estranged wife tries to sexually comfort him that night his mind goes to his initial view of Jenifer bent over a metal drum about to be killed. Becoming aroused, he shifts his wife into a similar position and enters her roughly from behind, hurting her and ending the sex. The next day when he discovers Jenifer has no one to claim her he takes her out of the court mandated asylum hoping to find her a home. The first night Frank makes her a bed on his living room couch but when his wife insists she must go he can find no place that will house her. Throughout all this the only sounds that Jenifer makes are those small whimpers and moans that put me in mind of a frightened puppy. She cowers against her protector and appears to only barely understand her plight. She twice holds the cop’s hand up to her face and licks it in a disturbingly animal like gesture.
By this time Frank has submitted to Jenifer’s physical attraction and obvious desire for his touch having intense sex with her. Unable to push the girl away he ends up a tragic, broken man. As the story progresses we see Frank lose his family, job and self-respect all because of his obsessive lust for this strange girl-creature.

I won’t ruin the film by going further into detail but the element of this tale that got to me in a in a very uncomfortable fashion was the very clear misogynistic undercurrent of the story. As the story moves forward I began to see a very nasty commentary on sexual attraction and relationships all centered on a negative view of women. A very negative view! The film seems to me to be a malicious version of the male view of the predatory and co-dependant aspects of the female temperament. This is a very adolescent view of the female and the film is careful to push this aspect through some subtle and not so subtle moments. There is an effort to give Frank and Jenifer’s relationship the structure of a teenage tryst with the wife standing in as the disapproving parent, their first sex act in a parked car, the us against the world mindset adopted by Frank and the third act running away from adult responsibility that causes the inevitable turn from love to hatred. The not so subtle ones are vicious starting with the fact that we learn of Jenifer’s terrible nutritional needs it’s only females that suffer under her teeth. Only after jealously rears its head does her violence touch a male and then only to hurt another woman. Truly, this is a metaphor that carries much weight in the human psyche and my creeping realization of what I was seeing stunned me.

The misogynistic view here is very unpleasant and is easily the movie’s most unsettling element. The viewpoint presented is so cruel, such a product of inexperience and tunnel vision that it should be laughable when recognized. But that's not the reaction I had. I felt a sense of identification with the idea of a woman as an ambition sucking succubus, draining life from everything she touches. I saw clearly the vestiges of my own past feelings of this type and was deeply ashamed of them and myself. Because I realized that in a dark corner of my heart I still hold this supremely hateful and damning opinion of a certain type of woman. I’ve been in relationships that seem to bring only pain, cutting you off from the things you love about life until you doubt the need to go on. It’s these memories that JENIFER touched in me that made me cringe away from the screen. Not the gore, or the make up effects or even the sight of the creature’s malformed face. Just the recognition of a universal , ugly male prejudice about sex & women that we’d all be better off without. I thought I’d suppressed this nasty side of my feelings about the fairer sex but obviously I have more growing up to do. I just hope I’m capable of it as now I reach middle age. The ladies in my life deserve something more from me than the childish view on display in this disturbing ‘Masters of Horror’ episode.

European Trash Cinema

I've been very busy lately with many real world things but I'm never too busy to sit down and catch a good film. At least not at the end of a long day. One of my favorite things to view is a heretofore unknown to me Eurpoean film of the (shall we say) less than art-house level. Thrillers, gangster films, murder mysteries, women in prison films, bloody horror tales or crime stories- I love'em all. We are currently living through a wonderful time to be a fan of strange cinema of this type as DVD companies continue to spring up each year catering to loonies like me. Between Synapse, Anchor Bay, Blue Underground, Media Blasters/Shriek Show and No Shame my 'To Get' list continues to grow longer no matter how much stuff lands in my mailbox each month. But no matter how many great DVDs come out month after month the sheer volume of whats out there is still NOT available through these channels. For a lot of the more obscure and more interesting stuff you have to go to the grey market. I've been buying from various dealers for years and I recently reacquainted myself with one of the best.

EUROPEAN TRASH CINEMA VIDEO is run by Craig Ledbetter out of his home. The business grew out of his legendary magazine EUROPEAN TRASH CINEMA years ago and even now that the 'zine is dead the video business lives on. I've been buying tapes and now DVD-R's from Craig for close to 10 years and I've never been unhappy with either his product or his great service. He's very up front about print quality and if he claims his copy looks good you can take it to the bank. Craig is also one of the most knowledgable people I've ever talked to about movies. Phone conversations with him tend to be long, entertaining and packed with information that sends me down new cinematic paths. When I recently started looking for a copy of the incredible obscure LUANA I should have contacted him first but I simply blanked. As soon as someone mention that he might have it I realized I hadn't been thinking. All it took was one phone call and I now have the long lost jungle epic in my hands.

And Craig is always on the hunt for more stuff. I've been looking to one day see a particular Peter Cushing rarity and what should show up in the latest ETC Video update?

"CORRUPTION aka LASER KILLER (1967)-As shocking today as when it was made in 1967! Peter Cushing plays a scientist who develops a skin grafting technique that he is forced to use on his wife when he accidentally disfigures her face. Unfortunately he has to kill his female victims to get the gland he needs so he goes on the hunt and relentlessly murders young women for his wife vain beauty. This is the only way to see this film uncut and in English (I have the RARE French prerecord that is in English with French subs) as it has never been released on dvd and there are no plans to! Comes with a color cover. $15"

Amazing! And here's one I just could not resist while ordering LUANA-

"FRAME-UP/THE FALLING MAN (1968)-Here's a special deal. These 2 films are different edits of the same material and so make for a fascinating viewing experience. So, I will put both versions on one dvd-r for the price of $15. Henry Silva stars as a man framed for murder (he's a hitman but this one he didn't do!) Keenan Wynn, and Beba Loncar and Evelyn Stewart co-star. A trippy film that you'll appreciate even more when you see the 2 different versions here! Comes with a color cover. $15"

I cannot wait to see this.

So, if you find you have a taste for the more eccentric side of cinema you might want to give ETC Video a try. I've included a link to the website above- just click on the title of this blog entry. I think you'll be glad you did.

Mr. B.I.G.- or how I stopped worrying and learned to love Bert I. Gordon

I can pinpoint when it happened. Crow T. Robot said, "You know- this isn't a bad film for Bert I. Gordon." It was at that moment, in the middle of my first viewing of THE MAGIC SWORD, that I became a fan.

Unlike most fans of his movies I first encountered the films of Bert Ira Gordon on MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000. At the time I was stumbling my way through college and a bit of humor was appreciated/needed. While THE BEGINNING OF THE END, THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN and its sequel were roasted by Joel & the Bots I laughed along and had much fun noticing the less than special effects. But, as with many of the older flicks on the show, I found myself laughing at the movies AND enjoying them too. So when I eventually got the chance to see them unaltered I was happy to discover that while they were not classics by any means they had a charm that I loved. Their charm is such that if I had caught them at a younger and more impressionable age I would have gloried in their pulp styled tales of animals and men grown larger than a fearful public could accept. Most point to COLOSSAL MAN as his best film and it might be. It was the first of his movies to make me think there was something else going on than just the surface story. Some how I realized on some level (even while laughing) that this tale of a man increasing in size was sharper than the average giant monster flick. As Glen Manning loses his hair and is forced to wear a diaper its hard to miss the symbolic reversion to childhood on display. What else is Manning (nice choice of name there) by the end of the film but an angry child seeking to break what it can no longer have. I love this kind of under the radar stuff and to spot it while watching a humor show was refreshing. As I delved further into Gordon's movies I found he was truely a kindred spirit. Here was a man in love with science fiction and horror weaving stories that must have looked perfect projected on a drive-in screen. I would love to be able to see EARTH VS. THE SPIDER on a giant outdoor screen some warm August night with a like minded group of people.

I guess another moment when I should have realized how much Gordon’s films meant to me was last summer. I was a little financially strapped and yet when I saw a foot tall statue of the Colossal Beast I knew I had to have it. A bit of cash and a little bartering is all it took and now that figure stands atop my chest of drawers threatening to hurl a bus onto my bed at any time. Sadly, this may have stunted my sex life but these are the risks one takes for the love of cheesy monster films.

When I look at Gordon's list of directorial credits I am stunned by how many films he produced in such a short space of time. After the release of KING DINOSAUR in 1955 he didn't get his next film in theaters until '57 but then they just rolled out. Three in '57 and three more in '58 which is all the more incredible when you know that he and his wife Flora were responsible for almost all of the behind the camera work. Their cheap but fun special effects were often poorly realized rear projection efforts but the movies are so much cheesy fun I always end up not caring. Not content to just make giant bug movies Gordon made Giant Mutant Beast movies (WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST), a large breasted Ghost movie (TORMENTED) , a kiddie adventure film (THE MAGIC SWORD) and a Giant Teenager movie (VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS). He even threw in a film about shrinking people down to miniature size for some extra variety with ATTACK OF THE PUPPET PEOPLE. All of these are entertaining movies and great slices of late 50's monster/adventure fun even if I have a hard time forgiving him for the dancing ducks and cute brainy kid in VILLAGE. Of course, being the completist that I am, I long to see the few films Gordon directed that I still haven't found. THE CYCLOPS, NECROMANCY, THE MAD BOMBER and BURNED AT THE STAKE all rouse my curiousity. Luckily his pirate film from 1960 THE BOY AND THE PIRATE is being issued by MGM in a few weeks so I can tick that one off my list.

Now if some one would just issue his output from the 70's and 80's I'd be very happy. I'd finally get to see his adaptation H. G. Wells' FOOD OF THE GODS. I guess after years of mining Wells' book he deceided to tackle it head on for a change. I've heard mixed things from others but I have to see it for myself. After all- anyone that has managed to give me as much fun as Bert I. Gordon can do what he wants and I'll come back for more. Even if there are dancing ducks!

Luana- la figlia delle foresta vergine (1968)

Is there anyone out there that has ever seen this film? I've been trying to find it for years now and have only this piece of poster art to show for the effort. As far as I can tell it has had no video release at all and the IMDb page is less than helpful, although that's nothing new. The director helped write Aldo Lado's excellent NIGHT TRAIN MURDERS in 1975 but only directed one film other than LUANA.

If anyone can point me toward a copy of the film, however legit it may be, I'd be very grateful. I'm sure the film will turn out to be pretty terrible but my curiosity is in high gear. Besides-that which does not kill me, serves but to make me stronger.

Ape Madness- Battle for the Planet

Unlike a lot of kids born in the 1960’s I was not a fan of the PLANET OF THE APES movies as a tyke. I was well into my teens before I finally saw the classic first film but since then I’ve been a true believer. Because of my latecomer status I missed the Apes craze of the early 70’s and all the amazing toys, games and comics that came out in those fun times. By the time I caught up with the original five movies I wasn’t even aware of the correct order they were made in and had to consult the Leonard Maltin Movie Guide to dope things out. My how times have changed.

For my birthday this year my beloved girlfriend bought me the Ultimate Planet of the Apes DVD Collection. Housed inside a plastic reproduction of Caesar (the character played by Roddy McDowell in the 4th and 5th films) are 14 discs comprising every single Apes film and TV episode ever made. That I asked (nay, begged) for this chunk of video overkill should demonstrate that I am indeed a fan of these movies. Some might even say too much of a fan but I will ignore these maladjusted troublemakers. They’ll be the first against the wall when the apes come! The big news about this set for most was that the long bootlegged and extremely rare Ape animated series from 1976 was to be included. That was good news, don’t get me wrong. But the best news for me was that the longer version of BATTLE FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES was to be included! Unlike the first four movies there is an alternate version put together for TV syndication that is 10 minutes longer than the theatrical cut. This version has never been released on video in any format so this made the purchase of the big Ape head an eventuality, not a possibility. And now that I have seen the extra footage I can say that it does make the film a notch or two better. It doesn’t make it great but it gives gravitas to scenes that lacked......well. They lacked a lot. And this version doesn’t correct the missteps of the script so much as make the direction it chooses more palatable.

For me, one of the strongest draws of the POTA series is that it’s a post-apocalyptic story and a good one. I love these kinds of tales and enjoy them so much that I tend to like even the worst of the sub-genre. My love of post-apocalyptic movies makes it easier to understand why I have little desire to revisit the most critically lauded of the four sequels ESCAPE FROM THE PLANET OF THE APES as it transfers the ape characters to modern day Earth. While this second sequel is a good movie it just doesn’t hold the appeal of the others- at least for me. I want to see war scarred cities, and desolate landscapes where mutants and mute humans fight for possession of a crumbling planet! A bunch of bureaucrats holding meetings about what it means that they’ve found some talking apes in a space capsule somehow just doesn’t grab my imagination. So, it is that I find the fourth and fifth films in the series more entertaining than the third. Even diehard Ape fans will admit that BATTLE FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES is the worst of them all and I agree. But I still have a lot of love for it as it offers up a fairly decent ending to the series and almost points the way toward the first film.
Sort of.
Well, not really.
Ya see- the problem with trying to get the time line of the Ape movies straight is that the series folds back on itself. Not content to push humans forward in time in the first two and Apes backward in time in the third the filmmakers felt the need to show us the start of the events that lead to Apes being the dominant species. But by having the events that lead to the end of human dominance kick started by the child of time traveling apes changes the story laid out in the original film. So events that should have taken centuries are collapsed down to decades leaving a rushed feeling hanging over the last two films. That the movies WERE done in a rushed fashion and with increasingly smaller budgets explains this fault, but it doesn’t make it any easier to love them. That’s where nuts like me come in!

BATTLE ‘s biggest problem in my opinion isn’t budget or a rushed production schedule. It’s the decision to make the film as kid friendly as possible. The year before the 4th movie with its violent uprising of ape against human oppressors got a PG rating even after a re-shoot of the ending to tone down the harsh speech McDowell gives to his fellow rebels. 20th Century Fox was not about to let high minded ideas get in the way of profitability and so the 5th movie is back to the series’ normal G rating. But even with all its flaws, limitations, clumsy direction and awkward dialog there are still great moments. The scene at the armory when Caesar and his companions must justify their need for weapons is written and played beautifully. If only all the dialog in the movie felt as smart and well crafted as this BATTLE would be judged much better.

Still, I really enjoy this movie and finally seeing the longer version makes that easier. It is not perfect (or even close) but it’s an Ape load of fun!

Wherefore Art Thou, CALTIKI ?

Why, in the name of all that is good and right in the world is there no DVD of this film available? I've done some checking around and it is not posible to get this sweet little monster film anywhere. Co-directed by Riccardo Freda and Mario Bava this one should have already been snatched up by some fine DVD company for Region 1 release. But there isn't even a cheap bootleg out there that I can find. I have a decade old bootleg VHS tape that has really seen better days and I'd like to buy a better copy. Please!

Come on Blue Underground, Shriek Show or any one else! Let's move Caltiki onto a fine sliver platter for all to see. He deserves it and you know it!

Summer 2006- Your mission......

The 2006 summer movie season has now begun with the early May release of the action movie MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3 and the slightly retro disaster epic POSEIDON. Of the two POSEIDON is the better film if only because it doesn’t have the third act slide into cartoonish unbelievability that MI3 revels in. Mr. Cruise does a good job of selling everything that happens to his character but the second instance of laying in the road to pass underneath an automobile was asking a bit too much. As was the ‘resurrection’ scene as well. And just what the hell was the villain up to in this movie any way? Oh well. None of the MI films have been very good so although this one is better overall than the first two, that alone doesn’t make it wonderful. But it is a solid summer blockbuster. Your memories of it will self-destruct by the time you take that post movie trip to the restroom.

POSEIDON is worth more comment. This being a remake it falls prey to the usual ‘which is better ‘debate which often misses the point. There are always those that will claim the original is better just because it was first or out of a sense of nostalgia. But this new film has plenty of elements that make it a fine contender for the small group of worthwhile recent retoolings. I’ll say up front that I’ve never been a big fan of the 1972 film THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE. I don’t think it’s aggressively bad but its cheesy silliness is a bit too much for me. The film was overlong, overwrought and often overacted. Indeed I suspect that the phrase ‘going for the Oscar’ may have its origins in the original film. The remake corrects most of these problems but it still only manages to be a pretty good film and it’s far from perfect. I just don’t think greatness is possible with this story. The actors do a fine job for the most part with only Kevin Dillon being problematic. His character seems to have been air lifted in from an Adam Sandler movie and his demise is the movie’s one truly silly/stupid moment. It’s as if the hand of God decided to smack the twit down. Sadly, this jerk-wad character is one of the few to evoke any real emotions in the audience. Most of the other people are just chalk outlines where a real person might have been if the film was really interested in doing more than being a spectacle.

Bucking the trend of the past few years POSEIDON clocks in at less than 2 hours, which was quite a shock. I fully expected a 140 minute running time at the bare minimum but it seems the thinking must have gone to lean & mean for which I am thankful. The film does exhibit another recent Hollywood problem though- the dreaded PG-13-itis. That is to say, it shies away from the more harsh or violent elements of the action to keep from getting the box office smothering R rating. This is most evident in some of the bigger scenes of death and carnage when shots of mayhem end just before some grotesque bit of bodily devastation happens. This leads to some storytelling sloppiness when on a couple of occasions this trimming makes the events onscreen more obscure than they should be. At one point my girlfriend asked me in a hushed voice if all of a group of people had been killed and I had to confess that I couldn’t be certain. I’m sure that a slightly longer version (labeled unrated) will pop up on DVD in the near future with a little extra blood and gore for those interested.

Among some of the smart modern upgrades on view is a logical reason for the fellow leading the survivors to the bottom of the ship. He’s an ex-Navy man aware of way out through the propulsion shafts. Kurt Russell's character is an ex-fireman so his skills come in handy as well. I was glad there is no self-doubting priest here to make that awkward struggle with his faith. Not even Gene Hackman made that character palatable in the original. Also, the gay character is obviously gay instead of it just being implied as it was in the original. I’m sure there are still folks who saw the ‘72 film wondering what the deal with Red Buttons is.

Of course, this being a disaster film there are moments that strain credulity especially with the length of time some people are underwater. And there came a time when I actually wanted to scream ‘Just let the kid drown, dammit!’ But the film is really not bad at all. The CGI effects were quite good especially when the wave first strikes the ship, and the film never overstays its welcome deftly moving from one tense set-piece to the next. These two things alone make it a step up from many of the summer movies of last year. So- not a great start to the Summer season of big movie fun but not terrible. And I saw some nice trailers......