Poster Art for JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET (1962)

"We've got a job to do!"

 

JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET (1962) Lobby Cards and Poster Art

 

THE BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS (1957)

In BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS John Agar plays Steve March, a geologist working with his partner Dan (Robert Fuller) in the desert southwest. They’ve been getting odd fluctuating gamma radiation readings (!?) centered miles out in the desert and Steve insists they check it out. Once there they track the readings to a newly formed cave and are attacked by Gor-the titular brain from another world.

This evil alien kills Dan and possesses the body of Steve with the intention of using his incredible destructive mind powers to take over Earth, launch an invasion of his home planet and molest Steve’s fiancé Sally (Joyce Meadows)- not necessarily in that order. Steve constantly tries to fight off Gor’s control to little effect but Sally and her father become very concerned about the spasms of pain that accompany his attempts. They ridiculously decide to travel to the desert cave and there discover Vol, another brain from Arous sent to recapture the fugitive Gor. Vol explains how to kill the mad brain and just before he’s able to take over the world Sally gets this information to Agar who takes an ax to the criminal cerebellum.

Almost too fun to be believed this is a classic so-bad-its-good movie. The story is incredible with characters doing hysterically illogical things simply to advance the plot. I’m still trying to figure out why a geologist would be given clearance to attend a major nuclear test or how (or why) geologists were monitoring ‘gamma radiation readings‘. But honestly the rest of the movie could be totally boring and would still be worth seeing for the insane final scene. The sight of John Agar ax-whacking an oversized brain dangling from clearly visible wires is one of the most hilarious things this side of PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE. The film had to be fun for Agar as well since he gets to play two roles- good guy and bad brain. He does a good job as both but it’s the evil moments that really shine. Rarely is he more entertaining than in the sequences in which he convinces assembled world representatives of his power and issues his mad orders complete with diabolical laughter. Brilliant! Highly recommended for these who like their popcorn movies spiced with cheese.

THE MOLE PEOPLE (1956) Ate My Brain!

The Mole People starts with an amusing four and a half minute talk from college English professor Dr. Frank C. Baxter, in which he ruminates about various crackpot "Hollow Earth" theories. This mini-lecture on some of the sillier ideas postulated about our planet is an indicator that this movie is not to be taken seriously. When Dr. Baxter states that if we think about the film's implications, it has much to say to us in the 20th century, I get my first chuckle of many. I'd like to think this was slapped on the beginning of the movie as a wink to the audience but it was probably done to pad out the running time.

The actual story begins with archaeologist Dr. Roger Bentley (John Agar) working on a dig somewhere in Asia. (That's as specific as the film gets!) He and his team find a tablet fragment with indications of Sumerian origins. After a small earthquake they are shown an unearthed ancient oil lamp found at the base of a local mountain. Convinced of the possibility of a major find, Bentley and Dr. Jud Bellamin (Hugh Beaumont) mount an expedition to the mountain's summit. After much stock climbing footage — shades of 1951's Lost Continent! — they reach a high plateau scattered with crumbling Sumerian buildings. When a member of the team falls into a deep crevasse the men descend into the mountain and make the archaeological discovery of the century: a living Sumerian settlement cut off from the world for thousands of years! Amazingly the inhabitants have survived through the ages and maintained their culture and history. Most of the population has become albino, with extremely pale skin and a high sensitivity to bright light, while some have 'devolved' into hideous mole-like humanoids. These Mole Men are used as slave labor and are treated horribly by their masters.

Using his still functioning flashlight, Bentley convinces the rulers that he's a messenger from one of their gods and starts romancing one of the rare Sumerian 'throwbacks' (i.e., normal-looking people), the slave girl Adad (Cynthia Patrick). Adad is a stunner with surprisingly fine make-up skills and a great hair stylist who takes to the manly Agar immediately. Good Doctor Bentley has the idea that he can effect positive change in these primitive people by keeping up the lie about being a divine messenger. But the Sumerian's High Priest Elinu (Alan Napier) begins to suspect the newcomers aren't what they claim to be after the eldest of the team dies. Wishing to retain the power he has over the king, Elinu has the two remaining archaeologists drugged and thrown into the city's execution chamber. But as this is being done the devolved Mole Men rebel at last, allowing Bentley and Bellamin to make good their escape with Adad in tow.

Silly, cheesy fun from start to finish, The Mole People never resembles anything close to reality. When our heroes encounter the Sumerians there is a very quick nod to Agars' ability to speak the (very dead) language but then all the other members of the party suddenly can as well. The mole men are treated as beasts and constantly beaten but never use their digging ability to escape their cruel masters. And of course, isn't Agar lucky to run across that incredibly rare 'normal' girl to romance and rescue? But with all the crazed fun this film offers it is Agar's character that gives the film its entertaining highlights. Arrogant almost to the point of annoyance, Bentley is so forward in the first third of the movie that it felt like he'd be the villain of the story. A pushy, arrogant ass, he really seems to be the guy most likely to get a harsh comeuppance until the final third when he slides jarringly into hero mode. I love the fact that the Sumerians mistaken assumption of divine powers meshed so well with Bentley's character. It didn't take much for him to start acting like a deity. I'm surprised his swelled head didn't give off a radiance of its own!

Adding to the strangeness on display is some of the dumbest dialog of any film of the period, with Agar getting the lion's share. That he was able to utter lines like "In archaeology all things are possible" with a straight face shows real acting skill. I love that someone asked an actor to say, "The thing that impresses me the most is the complete and utter silence — you can almost hear it." I live for this kind of wackiness.

In the right frame of mind The Mole People is a blast and while never actually good, it still stands as a great example of the qualities fans love about '50s science fiction movies. It's very well produced, with all the right elements to make it a fun Saturday afternoon matinee. I love this film the way you love a not too bright pet that might chew up your shoes but is simply too cute to strangle. They don't make them like this any more... And maybe that's a good thing. 

Now- Bring on the Blu-Ray! 

CURSE OF THE SWAMP CREATURE (1966)

Damn NetFlix streaming and its listing for this film. Why did I watch it? Surely I knew what was in store.

The films of Larry Buchanan are completely terrible. That may read as a bold statement but anyone who has watched more than one of his low budget B-movies can attest to the fact that I tell the truth. Its not that Mr. Buchanan is a total incompetent or wholly without storytelling skills. He can string a fairly coherent, if plodding, tale together that moves slowly from point to point and place to place in a manner that mimics the natural progression that a good film usually has. While you could go on for hours about the amusing mistakes and silliness that his extremely poverty ridden productions have the real problems occur when you get into the details of his movies.

Let's take CURSE OF THE SWAMP CREATURE (1966) as a case in point. It is supposedly a remake of VOODOO WOMAN (1957) and it certainly does follow the plotline of that pretty terrible film. Don't get me wrong- I enjoy VOODOO WOMAN. It is not a good movie but it does have Marla English. CURSE OF THE SWAMP CREATURE has John Agar and while John Agar rules, he is no Marla English if you know what I mean. But I shouldn't denigrate this film for a lack of sex appeal. There are a couple of lovely ladies in Buchanan's film and they have their charms. Francine York plays mad scientist Victor Trent's wife and although she only has two outfits the entire film she fills them out expertly. I never bought her distraught act as she longs to be released from her hellish marriage but she is nice to look at. Indeed, none of the acting is very good but Agar is competent in an underwritten role, Shirley McLine as a murderous femme fatale is OK but Jeff Alexander is very entertaining as the crazed Dr. Trent. The fact is that it was Alexander's hammy, meticulously calm but slyly evil performance that kept me watching this silly mess. He's a study in amoral inhumanness and the film could have benefited from more time spent getting to know his character.

No. Even though most of the actors in this are bad, acting is not really the aspect of this film that weighs it down so heavily. Its real liabilities are the skimpy budget and flat, boring direction. I can forgive some of the crappy shot choices because its clear the sets were tiny and there wasn't much time to get things in the can. But the moments when the locations put the lie to statements made in the dialog are numerous, laughter inducing and turn the movie from bad to worse. Much is made about the mad doctor's house and laboratory being out in the middle of the swampy nowhere but the place has an obvious connection to the nearby electrical poles. The doctor keeps gators in his pool out back but the shots of the reptiles thrashing around are clearly from a muddy river far too large to be anywhere near that well manicured lawn. The 'rough' trail that leads to the hidden lair of Dr. Trent is so well worn it might be a bike path. The list of ridiculous elements is a mile long but I could forgive them all if the movie wasn't so damned dull. Not even the site of the final monster can do more than generate a slight grin.


So I can't recommend this one to any but the hardiest of B-movie aficionados. Its rough going with few joys and much tedium. You have been warned! Damn NetFlix streaming.

John Agar Rules! Part 3

In BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS our man Agar plays Steve March, a geologist working with his partner Dan (Robert Fuller) in the desert southwest. They’ve been getting odd fluctuating gamma radiation readings (!?) centered miles out in the desert and Steve insists they check it out. Once there they track the readings to a newly formed cave and are attacked by Gor-the titular brain from another world. This evil alien kills Dan and possesses the body of Steve with the intention of using his incredible destructive mind powers to take over Earth, launch an invasion of his home planet and molest Steve’s fiance Sally (Joyce Meadows)- not necessarily in that order. Steve constantly tries to fight off Gor’s control to little effect but Sally and her father become very concerned about the spasms of pain that accompany his attempts. They ridiculously decide to travel to the desert cave and there discover Vol, another brain from Arous sent to recapture the fugitive Gor. Vol explains how to kill the mad brain and just before he’s able to take over the world Sally gets this information to Agar who takes an ax to the criminal cerebellum.

Almost too fun to be believed this is a classic so-bad-its-good movie. The story is incredible with characters doing hysterically illogical things simply to advance the plot. I’m still trying to figure out why a geologist would be given clearance to attend a major nuclear test or how (or why) geologists were monitoring ‘gamma radiation readings‘. But honestly the rest of the movie could be totally boring and would still be worth seeing for the insane final scene. The sight of John Agar ax-whacking an oversized brain dangling from clearly visible wires is one of the most hilarious things this side of PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE. The film had to be fun for Agar as well since he gets to play two roles- good guy and bad brain. He does a good job as both but it’s the evil moments that really shine. Rarely is he more entertaining than in the sequences in which he convinces assembled world representatives of his power and issues his mad orders complete with diabolical laughter. Brilliant! Highly recommended for these who like their popcorn movies spiced with cheese.

To be continued........

John Agar Rules! Part 2

In THE MOLE PEOPLE (1956) Agar plays Dr. Roger Bentley an archeologist working on a dig somewhere in Asia. (That’s as specific as the film gets!) He finds a tablet fragment with indications of Sumerian origins and then comes across an ancient oil lamp that points towards a local mountain. Agar along with Hugh Beaumont mounts an expedition to the summit and after much stock climbing footage they reach a high plateau scattered with crumbling Sumerian buildings. After a member of the group falls into a deep crevasse the men descend into the mountain and make the archeological discovery of the century- a living Sumerian settlement cut off from the world for thousands of years! Most of the population has become albino with extremely pale skin and sensitivity to bright light while some have ‘devolved’ into hideous mole like humanoids. The mole men are used as slave labor and treated horribly. Using his still functioning flashlight Agar convinces the rulers that he’s a messenger from one of their gods and starts romancing one of the Sumerian ‘throwbacks’ i.e. a normal looking woman named Adad (Cynthia Patrick) with a great hair stylist. Finally Agar and Beaumont instigate a Mole man rebellion making good their escape with Adad in tow.

Silly, cheesy fun from start to finish THE MOLE PEOPLE never resembles anything close to reality. When our heroes encounter the Sumerians there is a very quick nod to Agars’ ability to speak the (very dead) language but then all the members of the party suddenly can as well. The mole men are treated as beasts and constantly beaten but never use their digging ability to escape their cruel masters. And of course, isn’t Agar lucky to run across that rare ‘normal’ girl to romance and rescue? But with all the crazed fun this film offers it is Agar’s character that gives the film its entertaining high points. Arrogant to the point of annoyance Bentley is so forward in the first third of the movie that it feels like he’ll be the villain of the story. Adding to the strangeness on display is some of the dumbest dialog of any film of the period with Agar getting the lion’s share. That he was able to utter lines like “In archeology all things are possible” with a straight face shows a real acting skill.

In the right frame of mind THE MOLE PEOPLE is a blast and while never actually good it still stands as a great example of the qualities fans love about 50‘s Science Fiction movies. I love this film the way you love a not too bright pet that might chew up your shoes but is simply too cute to strangle.

To be continued...........

John Agar Rules! Part 1

Long before I knew John Agar by name he was one of my heroes. He was the guy that took a cattle prod to the Gill Man, found a hidden underground civilization and blew up a giant spider in the desert- all without breaking a sweat! The fact that my adolescent mind could combine these three different movie roles and thereby turn Agar into a kind of superman is probably because he played similar characters in many films. Some might say they were often the EXACT same role. He was usually the smart, stoic, smiling fellow that could be counted on when the Mole Men attacked or a were-creature was stalking his fiance. These movies weren’t always very good (and Agar didn’t appreciate them at the time) but as film nuts in the 21st century have discovered his genre movies are always entertaining even if not for the reasons originally intended! Agar’s first foray into fantastic cinema was a sequel to the classic CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. It’s not his best genre film but it did give him a key contact for later greatness.

Picking up a year after the first film REVENGE OF THE CREATURE has a couple of stalwart scientists types return to the Black Lagoon to capture the monster. Using dynamite charges (!) to subdue him they transport the amphibian back to Florida and set him up in Ocean Harbor for scientific study and public viewing. Ichthyologist Helen Dobson (Lori Nelson) and fellow scientist Professor Clete Ferguson (John Agar) begin trying to both communicate with the Gill Man and romance each other. Their romance is a bit more successful probably because Agar doesn’t poke Nelson with an electrified prod every ten minutes as he does the Creature. Finally the poor aquatic beastie manages to break free, kill a few folks and run off into the open water with gunmen in hot pursuit. Once again he has his sights set on a female and this time it’s Miss Nelson he goes in search of, putting her new fiance Agar on the offensive!

Director Jack Arnold made this as well as the first Gill man film and his strong guiding hand helps make this a fairly exciting monster romp. Though it pales in comparison to the original and makes the major error of removing the Big Guy from his jungle habitat its still a fun movie. Agar has made no secret of the fact that he hated making the series of monster epics he starred in in the 1950’s but here, as in all his performances you can see that he still threw himself into things 100%. That’s one of the things that make his genre movies so enjoyable- Mr. Agar worked hard to sell every scene, every time. This kind of enthusiasm pays off when the audience is asked to believe in incredible events and his earnest performances help sell all kinds of absurd situations. Its this aspect of what he did that makes watching Agar's films so much fun. He really seems to believe what’s going on and invites us to come along for the ride!

To be continued.......