Movies that can't be as good as their poster art

I have little interest in the soft-core sexploitation genre but I might have to see this one. I love the poster, anyway!

Fantastic movie poster art

Because I'm rarely impressed with the sad excuse for poster art we get these days, here are a few images from the past.
Detail of the classic GREEN SLIME artwork.
And some simply amazing art for the French release FORBIDDEN PLANET.

IRON SKY teaser trailer

I know I'm somewhat behind the curve on this one but WOW! I love alternative history stories and this one looks to be fantastic. It taps into the classic Nazi/WWII 'flip the path of reality' concept used by countless writers while adding a fun 'what if' science fiction idea. It's as if someone read Philip K. Dick's 'The Man In The High Castle' and went in a slightly different direction.

I hope the finished film measures up to this trailer.

What I watched in July

A busy but productive month. I finally got the commentary track for THE GIANT BEHEMOTH recorded and up on the site as well as making it through another class. The big movies news is, of course, THE DARK KNIGHT which was fantastic. I still think the second half needed more breathing room to make the story feel a bit less rushed but it is still easily the best film of its type I've ever seen.

MACISTE IN KING SOLOMAN’S MINES (1964)- 5 (unremarkable Reg Park muscle man film set in Africa, of all places)
SCARECROWS (1988)- 3 (not very good but there are some creepy moments)
THE BUCKET LIST (2008)- 5 (mostly an acting exercise between two old pros)
NIGHT OF THE CREEPS (1986)- 8 (rewatch) (where’s the DVD of this?)
ZOMBIES OF MORA TAU (1957)- 4 (terrible but I really like its goofy earnestness)
MR. MOTO TAKES A CHANCE (1938)- 5 (third and weakest so far of the Moto series)
HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (2008)- 9 (oh, yes!)
THE ASSASSINATION BUREAU (1969)- 7 (fun romp with Oliver Reed and Diana Rigg in fine form)
THE BURNING (1981)- 4 (rewatch) (catching up with that new DVD)
YO-YO GIRL COP (2006)- 5 (ultimately too silly and OTT but fun anyway)
DEADLY SHOTS ON BROADWAY (1969) – 6 (my first Jerry Cotton spy film is actually the last made)
WANTED (2008)- 7 (good but not great- the kind of OTT I can like)
SOUTHLAND TALES (2006)- 2 (Richard Kelly- you are NOT Michael Moorcock!)
JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH 3D (2008)- 4 (good 3D-lame movie- kids will love it)
THE ORPHANAGE (2008)- 7 (creepy ghost tale)
THE SKULL (1965)- 7 (rewatch)
YONGARY (1967)- 3 (terrible on almost every level but so bad, its good)
THE DARK KNIGHT (2008)-10 (out of the park)
PETULIA (1968)- 7 (fascinating drama with a great cast)

PRINCE VALIANT (1997) trailer

Why have I never heard of this film until now! Its freakin' 11 years old! And look at the cast- Katherine Heigl, Thomas Kretschmann, Edward Fox, Udo Kier, Ron Perlman, Warwick Davis and Joanna Lumley. It's like a mixture of cult actors and current stars thrown willy-nilly into the newspaper strip. It could easily be a train wreck but I must see this.

Come to think of it-- it MUST be a train wreck. It must. Gotta see it!

SOUTHLAND TALES (2006)

I have seen two of Richard Kelly’s films and I am unimpressed.

Several years ago when DONNIE DARKO came out I rented the DVD and watched this burgeoning cult movie with friends. My friends all professed to like it but I did not. It wasn’t terrible but it never came together in a satisfying way for me. It felt half finished as if someone had several great ideas and then jumbled them together hoping that the ending would impress everyone enough to think it all added up. Not that the movie is nonsensical, but it is rather ‘kitchen sink’ in its approach. It was as if the writer/director wanted to include so many things he couldn’t bring himself to edit his work down to create a focused piece. When the ‘director’s cut’ came out a while later I gave the film a second chance but the expansion didn’t make the movie any better- just longer. I felt the same way after seeing this longer version as I did with the shorter one. It just doesn’t connect with me. It’s fairly interesting but not very entertaining. I can see why it might resonate with others but it does nothing for me.

Having now seen SOUTHLAND TALES I can say with some authority that I will probably never be impressed by Kelly as a filmmaker. This movie is a much bigger, less coherent mess than DONNIE DARKO but I can at least now see where Kelly appears to be getting his ideas. SOUTHLAND TALES plays like an American Jerry Cornelius story straight from the pen of science fiction master Michael Moorcock. Very much like those tales this one involves a huge cast of briefly sketched characters in full gallop through a slightly futuristic world in which apocalyptic events are happening. But what Moorcock is fantastic at doing Kelly can’t manage. Usually by the mid-section of a Cornelius tale you get a handle on what’s going on and the story’s central idea grabs hold. Then the small things Moorcock has added in for each character begin to build a strong understanding of their motivations so that by the end you are caught up and loving the ride. Kelly can’t get there even though he works hard to create an interesting experience. Everyone remains a cipher and I was just wishing the thing would go ahead and end. Part of this comes down to the difference between written and filmed fiction and the trouble of translating one to another. But the first Jerry Cornelius novel was filmed back in 1973 and while its not a great film it’s a sharper stab at it than this bloated ramble.

I’ll give Kelly credit for trying but this film just does not work.

THE DARK KNIGHT (2008)

Wow! Just wow! They simply don't make them better than this. Amazing.

"See, I'm a man of simple tastes. I like gunpowder...and dynamite...and gasoline! Do you know what all of these things have in common? They're cheap!"