Twas the Dark Night Before Christmas

KILL BILL animated

Does any one other than me remember that Tarentino was planning some animated KILL BILL offshoots? I was really excited about that.

Of course, now I'd just be happy to get the uncut version of VOL. 1 on Region 1 DVD.

CHRISTMAS EVIL (1980)

Because I'm trying to get into the Christmas spirit but still want to watch horror films I decided to spin this one again. Here's my review of the film.


Harry Standling (Brandon Maggart) is an introverted middle aged man whose hobby is all things Christmas. Perfectly in sync with his obsessive regard for the season he has worked in a toy factory for most of his adult life. Harry’s years of experience have finally landed him a management job in the company and he seems to have thought that his new position would allow him to make better toys for kids. But as the Christmas season approaches he finds the hostile anti-holiday attitudes of his co-workers and the disappointment of no longer working directly with the toys getting to him. But what starts off looking like a bout of Holiday depression begins to turn nasty. Clearly sad and disappointed by the adults around him he begins to focus on the joys Christmas brings to kids. For years Harry has kept detailed written accounts of the actions of the children that live in his neighborhood and bound books listing ‘bad ‘ and ‘good’ kids line his shelves. As he starts spending more time going through them adding black & white marks he becomes more unstable. In his home workshop he fashions a Santa costume, paints an elaborate mural of Santa’s sleigh on the sides of his van and begins to make plans. Learning from a snide PR man of his company’s half-hearted stab at charity by donating toys to the local children’s hospital Harry is livid. Dressing as Santa he sneaks into the factory at night stealing a van load of toys and on Christmas Eve delivers them to the surprised and happy hospital staff. Elated by this near perfect moment of Holiday cheer he tracks the company PR man to a church where he’s attending a Christmas service. After waiting outside a silent Santa Harry is taunted by some of the church-goers and stabs two of them to death with a toy solider! Driving away he next goes to the house of a co-worker who has insulted and belittled him repeatedly. After a failed attempt to go down the chimney he finds an open basement window, creeps in and kills the man right in front of his wife. Disturbingly, the dead man’s awakened kids wave happily to the departing Santa just as their mother’s screams ring out.

On Christmas Day the cops are running around hunting a killer Santa even going so far as to put a bunch of them in a line up for witnesses from the church. But an APB out on St. Nick on December the 25th isn’t the best move and does not net them their guy. Harry has spent the night in his van outside the toy factory and awakens to the realization of his plight. Afraid to go home he breaks into the place and as if in a fantasy about really being Santa Claus turns on all the toy making equipment. As news reports stoke the fears of the public Harry’s younger brother Philip (Jeffery DeMunn) begins to think his brother is involved. He becomes convinced that his unbalanced sibling is the killer after a rambling phone call from him that afternoon. When night falls on Christmas Harry ventures out again but ends up being chased through the streets by an actual torch bearing mob until he escapes to his brother’s home. But an enraged Philip demands answers resulting in a family fight that brings the tragic tale to a close.

I was completely gob-smacked by this one folks. From the title and description I was expecting a smarmy slasher film that used the Holiday season for a cheap backdrop and even cheaper jokes. What I got instead was a very well made character study reminiscent of Polanski’s REPULSION. Although not as good as that classic it stands proudly beside it as a fascinating picture of a slow descent into madness and murder. If anything Harry Standling is a more sympathetic main character as we are shown in a brief prologue the genesis of both his fixation on Christmas and the reason for his awkwardness with people. At an impressionable age the young Harry crept downstairs on Christmas Eve to see Santa sexually gratifying his mother. That this Santa was actually his father didn’t register and the traumatized boy never really got over the sight of Jolly Old Saint Nick pleasuring Mom.

In a film with many things to praise the first should be the performance of Bandon Maggart. He does a truly brilliant job of getting inside Harry’s head and showing us the broken way his mind functions. The moment I knew he was simply not going to make a wrong step was in a sequence midway through his Christmas Eve rounds. He has stopped outside a community house and is watching a neighborhood party through a window. Spotted in his Santa outfit he is pulled inside and asked to join in the celebration with children and adults alike. It’s a beautiful scene that shows what his life could have been like as he happily dances with everyone and enjoys a few drinks. Maggart is note perfect here and even elicits a chill as he says goodbye to the kids with a stern warning about being good.

Another thing to single out is the exceptionally fine cinematography of the film. For a movie made on such a small budget CHRISTMAS EVIL looks incredible. From the commentary track on the DVD I learned that director Lewis Jackson spent a lot to get Ricardo Aronovich as his DP and his skill certainly makes the film a joy to look at. There are more than a dozen shots here that rival the best Christmas images I ever seen captured in the movies with some of them being heartbreakingly well composed. Jackson points out in brief liner notes that his prime visual inspiration was the Christmas paintings of Thomas Nast and it really shows. That a film of this type can be so beautiful puts to shame the sad Christmas movies pumped out every year by Hollywood.

As much as I liked the movie I have to admit it’s not perfect. The last third of the film is not as sure footed as the beginning as if the focus has been lost as Harry parades around the toy factory and comes dangerously close to derailing as he’s being pursued by the mob of angry parents. But by the time the brothers have fought and credits roll over the haunting final image I found it easy to forgive these small hiccups. Of course, a movie about a murderous Santa Claus isn’t going to be an easy sell for 90% of the public but I think plenty of folks would love this if it were given a chance.

Beautiful Mystery Poster Art

I have brazenly stolen this image from David Zuzelo's excellent blog and I'm in love with this art work. I have no idea what film it was painted for and my search of the IMDB has yielded only questions. I can't even hazard a good guess so I'm turning to the three to four people that actually read this sad little blog- What movie is this poster supposed to advertise? Help a guy out if you can! And if you can only guess, that would be fine too.

Robbie the shoe salesman?

I think I need to rewatch FORBIDDEN PLANET some time soon. I don't remember this scene at all!

30 DAYS OF NIGHT (2007)

30 DAYS OF NIGHT is a good horror film but not a great one. That’s a shame. I was really hoping for a great one. Don’t get me wrong. It is good. It’s got a great premise, solid acting, is well directed (for the most part), has a number of very scary moments and actually has the wisdom to have a fairly bleak ending. It has the strength of an R rating in these days of the PG-13 in that it doesn’t shy away from the violence and keeps the tension level pretty high. Its best described as part NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and part Carpenter’s THE THING- and that’s a good combination in my book! Snowy cold creepy stuff always hits my sweet spot. Hint to all horror filmmakers- the quickest way to appeal to me is set your scary tale in winter.

My one real complaint with the movie is an odd one to have to deal with. Strangely, the film feels as if a big part of the narrative is missing. I don’t mean that the story got chopped down reducing the source comic book to a manageable length for film. I mean that there are three or four moments in the movie when the story leaps forward in a sloppy way that just screams SCENES MISSING. I seriously think that there is at least 10 to 15 minutes of footage that was cut out- probably to adhere to some specific desired running time. Indeed, I’m willing to bet that a longer version of the film will be released on DVD eventually if not right off the bat.

I find this kind of disappointing. I liked the film and to a degree my perception of these missing parts didn’t keep me from giving it a thumbs up. But more and more we’re not getting the whole film anymore in the theaters. Even the version of DEAD SILENCE I raved about a week ago was a minute longer than what was shown theatrically. I guess times have changed. Maybe its better to wait to see these things at home when the full movie can be chosen instead of a shortened cut.

ELVIRA'S HAUNTED HILLS (2002)

Rarely am I surprised by a comedy. Comedies should surprise me because most comedy (i.e. causing laughter) is predicated on an unexpected (hence surprising) something that strikes me as amusing. But most comedies made these past 20 or so years just fall flat for me. Maybe too many Three Stooges shorts as a kid ruined me for the brilliant subtleties of Adam Sandler. One of the hardest things to manage in the horror genre is the combination of comedy with horror. You run the risk of either not being funny or not being scary and if you manage one but not the other the film seems way off. Or stupid. For a good example of a shitty attempt at this check out either of Stephen Sommers’ MUMMY films. Or don’t Yeah- don’t. Ever.

In recent years SHAUN OF THE DEAD hit the ball out of the park but I have to go back to RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD to think of another good horror/comedy. They just aren’t common so I wasn’t expecting much from ELIVRA’S HAUNTED HILLS. And, to tell the truth, I didn’t get a lot. It’s not the funniest film, it’s not very scary and it’s not all that great over all really. But it has its grinning heart in the right place and that goes a long way with me. Color me surprised.

I went in with no information about the movie and was amused when the credits played out over a background of swirling multicolored paint. I chuckled and said out loud (even though I was alone in the room- no jokes), “Looks like the Corman Poe credit sequences.” Fifteen minutes later it slowly dawned on me that the entire film was an homage to those wonderful films from the 1960s. This became hard to miss as the story combines parts of HOUSE OF USHER, PIT & THE PENDULEM, TOMB OF LIGEIA and a touch of PREMATURE BURIAL. Adding to the fun is the inclusion of a hunky male character that Elvira lusts after who is hysterically dubbed. This knowing but affectionate nod to the great European made gothics of the period is quite nice and made me smile. My favorite line in the film has to do with Elvira wondering how this guy manages to speak so well when his lips don’t ever match his words. Good times!

Of course, the film isn’t fantastic. Except for a few great lines aimed at fans of the Corman movies the humor is pretty broad centering on the usual Elvira breast and sex gags. And only a few times does the movie evoke a neat chill. But the spirit of fun and the obvious love for what they are parodying shines through the whole time. It’s not a great movie but it is kind of fun and would make a good second feature after one of the Poe tales that inspired it.